Review: Arby’s Venison Sandwich is literal spiritual salvation in food form

Josh Rouse takes a bite out of the most delicious fast food sandwich ever created.

As though created by angels and delivered to my mouth on a lightning bolt of flavor, Arby’s limited-edition Venison Sandwich left me feeling as though I had caught a glimpse of the heavens and all their splendor before being jettisoned back down to the duldrums of reality.

The one-day-only offer of this delectable morsel has come and gone, and I once again must roam the earth longingly, dreaming of the day the delightful deer steak drenched in juniper berry steak sauce and adorned with a light blanket of crispy onions will once again touch my lips.

The tangy sauce — ohhh, that sauce — it seeped into the every last crack of the meat, a playful, juicy callback to the nature in which its companion once roamed! With just the subtlest hints of berry, it gave the deer meat such an aftertaste that, hours later, as I lay awake writing this, the tender morsel still dances atop my taste buds like a seasoned Ukrainian ballerina performing the lead role in “The Nutcracker.”

Alas, why must such palpable bliss be constrained to just one day?

The marriage of the crispy onions and sweet steak sauce make perfect harmony in this culinary concerto, and the doughy star-top bun adds a soft texture to the coarse outer shell of the grilled steak — like the feel of a warm, soft sweatshirt on a crisp autumn day.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, my friend. I eagerly await the day our stars align once more and we can frolick in the delight of each other’s company. Oh, but to feel the warm embrace of your being against my lips — ‘twould be splendor!